The Four Agreements

I love books like these, because even if it is not your religion, they are more spiritual guides... they always have good advice. Usually they are all pretty much the same, as is with the case of The Four Agreements, but they explain it differently.

The first of the four agreements is "BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD". Kind of a "love yourself" thing. Basically be without sin with your word. Kind of goes with Jesus's teaching of "love thy neighbor" or "do not judge". Comes with the understanding that what you say has a direct effect on yourself and your feelings. If you say harmful words you are indirectly harming yourself because the person you say them to will then use harmful words on you. And the same goes for words of love.

The second agreement is my personal favorite. It is "DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY". So true, and such a good way to go about life. This comes with the understanding that whatever anyone says to you is not really about you but about how they are feeling. That combined with the fact that you are the only person that can truly judge yourself or have an affect on how you feel... and if you think you are wonderful then you are and no one else's opinion matters.... then no matter what anyone says you shouldn't take it personally. If they tell you you are amazing... don't take it personally because that will just lead to the need of acceptance by other people. And if they tell you you are crap... don't take it personally, it isn't about you it is about how they are feeling. If someone is filled with love they will tell you good things about yourself, if they are filled with hate they will tell you bad things about yourself. Either way it is about them and not you. I think that if you are able to go through life with this agreement you would be a much happier person indeed... at peace really, and therefore just able to enjoy the gift of life.

The third agreement is "DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS". Again a good thing to live by, this would eliminate misunderstandings which are the basis of most fights in my mind. My favorite part of this chapter was the way this agreement can effect your love life.

"Many make the assumption that "My love will change this person". But this is not true. Your love will not change anybody. If others change, it's because they want to change, not because you can change them. Then something happens between the two of you, and you get hurt. Suddenly you see what you didn't want to see before. We don't need to justify love. Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don't really like them. Of course, if you decide to live with someone, it is better to make that agreement with someone who is exactly they way you want him or her to be. Find someone whom you don't have to change at all. Also, that person must love you just the way you are, so he or she doesn't have to change you at all. If others feel they have to change you, that means they really don't love you they way you are."

Finally the fourth agreement is "ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST". This for me just means if you always do your best you will never have any regrets. And that is what I strive for in life, to live without regrets.

All in all The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is an interesting book with a different take on some of the oldest spiritual teachings about how to live. Treat others how you would want to be treated. The ten commandments. Love thy neighbor. And now we have the Four Agreements. All are excellent ideas to live by and all will lead to a happier more enriched life.